Ahimsa. That’s what Buddhist call it. The act of being nonviolent towards all things.

After eating chicken pizza I have decided that maybe…just maybe, I might want to stop eating meat because if I am reincarnated as a chicken, I’ll be really pissed off.

Do chickens meditate? Do they know that somewhere people are frying them up and coining phrases like “give me a two-piece and a biscuit?” Nonviolent. It is a hard practice. There are days when I want to murder negative thoughts. Hang them? Shoot them? Electrocute them?

There are particular thoughts that I want to interrogate first and ask them, “How long will you haunt this brain?” Which brings me to my brain. There is an abundance of commercializing the idea of turning 40. I am on the elevator to the 40th floor. I want to arrive on the 40th floor but I don’t want to get off the 40th floor and have to go to the bathroom and get dressed. I want to arrive at the elevator, fully ready for my life party. That being said, I need to get ready now—the year I am turning 39.

This is the beginning of my cautionary tale/fairytale/journey/yellow brick road to 40. It starts today with the chicken and the Ahimsa and the negative thought I just murdered.

New College to Host Writing Workshop & Performance with Anastacia Tolbert, February 16

New College to Host Writing Workshop & Performance with Anastacia Tolbert, February 16

When In Doubt

Write. Write because you have too.
Write. When no one is looking.
Write. Because if you don't you might love somebody...might
kill somebody.
Near the end of 2009 I found myself with a small case of writers block. It wasn't that I was "stuck," I was "placed." I placed myself in several small compartments although I screamed to the world that I don't fit into boxes. Compartments were my way of compromising.
Write.
I'm writing in a place of de-compartmental-ization.
I've begun a 31/31. I'm writing a poem per day. There's no website in charge. It's not boot camp intensive.
It's just right. Write.
Join me.

Yes

Yes. Such a simple word.
It's implications are many.
Yes to love or chocolate brings about one feeling.
Yes to mass murdering or tripping someone in Target brings about another feeling.
No? Yes.

I was a cliche' resolution setter. Each year though I invest more and more
into the act of evolution as opposed to resolution. There is never a simple resolve, unless of course it's--yes.

Yes to breathing more. It's useful.
Yes to drinking more water. (With lemon.)
Yes to saying No. Without guilt.
Yes to learning how to give and receive compliments.
Yes to trust.
Yes to knowing when you know what you know what you know is indeed what you know.
Yes to sleeping.
Yes to being wide awake and present.
Yes to laughing.
Yes.
Yes to downward dog.
yes to fresh fruits and veggies.
Yes to self-love...all levels.
Yes to rejection letters.
yes to letters of acceptance.
Yes to waitlists.
Yes to new friends.
yes to maintaining old friendships better. (Call people. Call people. CALL PEOPLE.)
yes to consistent journaling.
Yes to unresolved issues.
Yes to completed circles.
Yes to beginnings.
Yes to not knowing.
Yes to sage.
Yes to unconditional love.
Yes to writing.
Yes to teaching.
Yes to maybe.
Yes to yessing.
Yes to Namaste.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Which brings me to no.
No to fear.
No to doubt.
No to more than 3 cups of coffee per day. (Baby Steps.)
No to fucked up music lyrics.
No to gratuitous profanity.
No to mistaking "nice" for letting non evolution setters to talk to say things that make a person wanna just...do more than say no.
No to tears in the throat.
No to staying late.
No to self imposed stress.
No to holding back.